c-h-e-r

2010-02-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

In times like these, when our competitors start to rise
We should not be afraid.
We should never be afraid to die.

Training is never easy.
Not for us, and not for them.

and the toughest will win.

every drop of perspiration, every ache in the muscles, every hard work and effort will be rewarding in the end.

It's now or never.

2009-12-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time. But I'll be here for a short while only.
Things have happened.
And what's the point of saying sorry after slamming her right into the dust.
You'll never be a man, a real man. After all the sweet talks, after all the nice things you've done, and then asking to end this.

Saying sorry, after making your moves, your tactics, getting what you wanted, and then, saying sorry. What's the point of that?

That's what I call, no guts. A guy with no balls. A jerk. Yes, guys are jerks, but not all guys.
Facebook, it's overly powerful, it's overrated. And whatever things you've typed there as your status, it's just a show.

Frankly speaking, you're not a man. Frankly speaking, you've hurt her, even before saying that you don't want to hurt her. Frankly speaking, you've done it once, you did it the second time, if there's ever a third, I will never let it go like that. She'll not be your toy. She'll not be your potential girlfriend, whatever u call it. She'll only be her, and she deserves someone a hundred times better than a jerk, like you. So what if you've got friends to back you up, all guys will be the same. Friends of jerks, are the same jerks 'cos they'll back u up. Birds of the same feathers flock together.

Whatever it is, I will back her. forever.
and remember, what comes around, goes around. prepare for retribution dude.
anyway, don't think that jerk will be reading this, but I will wish that he does.

2009-07-15T23:58:00.002+08:00

It's my off day again! All the way till next Monday and Tuesday will be my last day! FINALLY!
Stayed at home for the whole of today and was a couch potato and zhai nu for a day! haha!

Didn't have a very good morning or late morning today because of myself. Ordered McSpicy meal today! haha! How sinful! But it was quite nice! (: That cheered me up a little. And what cheered me up even more was I decided to sweep and mop the floor! haha!

The best part was boyf came over after his lesson and bought ai xin Koi Cafe for me. It was really the best part of the day and a pleasant surprise for me. (: And that really cheered me up and put a smile on my face even though he could only stay for a short while. I was happy enough. it was enough to make my day.

thank you baby.

2009-06-29T21:14:00.002+08:00

It's already nearing end of June, and July is coming! I really can't believe it! I can't believe that time is passing so fast, and soon, school will reopen, I'll be going to university. Ok, that's not the point. The point is that I really can't believe that I spent more than 6 months, working and working and working, from Mondays to Fridays, with weekends free. OMG I'm such a workaholic. All those thoughts about going overseas, having holiday trips or just a short weekend getaway, are slowly vanishing, especially after the outbreak of the H1N1 flu virus.

Working has made me a 'better' person. haha. I don't know what work has made me become. All I know is, I have to work to earn money, and I have to sacrifice my time and my other activities to earn money. This whole thing doesn't really sound appealing to me. After a tired day at work, I'll just be all emotional and temperamental. Especially when things fucked up today after supervisor received a home quarantine order.

We just got shorthanded, and I have to work for the whole week. Specially asked for a day off tmr. and next week, just a few days. I just hope that this week would be over soon. really soon. This is really a bad monday for me. Fucking bad.

I've no mood to carry on blogging anymore. Things don't always turn out the way we wanted them to.

2009-06-10T22:50:00.002+08:00

I received the NTU freshmen guide today.. quite excited yet, I'm still looking forward to my appeal to get through.. I still wanna take econs! omgosh.. The school offered me Math+Econs.. oh god... I really don't want to die in this course, I don't want to urm... do math. LOL! Ask why I put it as a choice then? well.. I think it was because of ignorance.. LOL! URGHHH!! Don't know lahhhh!!

And the weather is so friggin hot that anything small will make me sibei pek chek too.

URGHH!

There's work tmr, spent 100plus dollars today, and... yes, my pay is coming in! IT SHOW IS HERE AGAIN! and yes, I will spend more I guess. OMGOSH!

And I really miss yiling.. hah! hope to meet up with the rest of the clique soon !! miss ya gals man!

So yeah, went to meet kex for lunch today, at burger king's and went shopping after she returned to work. Bought about 20bucks worth of.. STATIONERY! oh gosh. and 80bucks on my clothes, shorts, etc. wth... I just spent like I have truckloads of cash huh!

Really gotta save up already. and next tues I'll be meeting up with jac for a shopping session!
*calculates how much I will spend..* GOD! PLEASE RAIN MONEY! lol!

Like what kex said, expenses in Singapore is damn higgghhhhh!

Work hard, Save hard and Spend it all. wth.

I just loved what I spent on today, so it doesn't really matter to me! Hope baby likes the surprise that I'm gg to give him! YAY!

2009-06-01T21:23:00.002+08:00

I didn't have a great monday today.
I just hate it when people just push every blame, every shit on me. fuck that.
What's more, some people just refuse to check things out when I asked, and just left me hanging there, alone, hence I made wrong assumptions on things and end up making people pissed off with me, when in the first place, it wasn't my fault at all. So i just had to face all those ' why are u so screwed up' faces. fuck it man!
I just hope they fall, and get crushed. fuckin' hell!

URGH! and what's worse, I had to see two nice people get retrenched today, like they are really nice people who'd put on smiling faces, and talk to me, befriend me, when I didn't have anyone to talk to at work. And they had to go, today.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH TODAY. gosh. what a bad start to the week.

Eventually, I felt better.. because things can't get any worse. If anyone wanted to lodge a complaint,go straight to my boss instead of coming down, cooking up your own stories and pushing all the shit for me to kio. I don't kio sai. I don't give a damn how you're going to answer your boss about the matter, I don't give a shit. You asked for this, I gave you this. If you don't ask for it, I will just assume it's by normal postage or air mail. Don't come looking for me, telling me you requested for DHL, if you did, I'd have given you the airwaybill. Stop cooking up stories to clear your shit.

Welcome to the working society, where people care for themselves, and no one else.
Where people don't give a shit about you, even if you care a lot for them.
Where people don't give a damn about fairness and push the blame for self-protection.
Where you see all their true colours.
and finally, where you get fucked up with these people.

on the brighter side, two days off for me, tmr and wed, so I can go rowing and also do self training for my upcoming run! hehe! and I know baby and I will hang on together, and he's my motivation, for everything! (:

I will run as far as my legs will bring me. HAHAHHAHAHA!

2009-05-31T13:08:00.004+08:00

No training today. Trainings changed to weekdays, mon, wed and fri MORNINGS, THAT SUCKS!

BECAUSE MY WORK SCHEDULE TOTALLY CLASHED WITH IT! Maybe if boss gave me every week mon and thurs, then i'll be able to go for two trainings a week. hais.. what the shit. SIGH.

Just added to my sian-ness. plus boy's still in camp, confined for the weekend, maybe booking out ltr in the afternoon and booking in tonight, or tmr morning. I don't know. army's a screwed up place. hais. i just miss him ):

The last week of May was cool! Took two consecutive half days and met up with mich and kex, to chill and to walk around! LOL! and it was like awesome! because I didn't have to see tt charbor at work. gosh! hahahah! I'm treating her like an invisible object, but she's too 'significant' so it was abit hard to do it. haha!

K, I've to admit that work has made me turn into a slightly mean bitch. LOL! but it definitely helps alot. LOL!

toilet trip!

kex urm, tip-toed, so that she'll look taller

Mich after her 'business', looking relieved! HAHA!

Out of boredom!

Girls outing yesterday!

kex n jasmine after the haircut @ chapter 2

while waiting for jas...

Kex.. doing some poses for the motion capture! haha!

Kex: before haircut

Someone satisfied with her dinner! haha!

Meeting grace and kex later at vivo! heh! and baby's booking out later at 330.

(: but book in by tonight.. ): what the shit man! zzz.

k bye! shall go urm, nua..

2009-05-19T22:52:00.003+08:00

I LOVE AIA TAMPINES! Especially when MICHEL IS THERE WITH ME! omgosh!

Time pass 1000 times faster than when I'm at tower. gosh! it's so fun at tampines! LOVE LOVE LOVE, even though the distance is abit far. HAHA!

NTU math+econs combined deg or just NTU econs? I still haven't decide yet. OH GOSH.

Angels and Demons movie with dear! Oh, snack time at xin wang before that! hah!

' Why is the food taking so long to come??'

Act yi ge boy boy...

sillyben. haha!

gotta sleep. huge workload coming in tmr. GOSH.

JIAYOU!

and, ntu econs... yup. haha! But how do I apply for change of course?????

2009-05-11T21:50:00.006+08:00

Can someone just motivate me to go to work?

When I wake up every morning, I feel zero motivation to work. or maybe, a mere 10% motivation from the money. It's still not enough. Oh, maybe the next 10% will be seeing the friendly AIA staffs. That makes 20%. Still not enough to make me feel happy and motivated to work or, go to work with a good mood.

The rest of the missing 80% are due to reasons like colleagues, oh, and it looks like they are the main reason for that. HAHA! How funny. For the past month that I've been working at AIA, I never had lunch with them, I never really joked with them at work, and I don't really talk to them. The barrier between me and them, is like there's an invisible wall between us. Not that I'm sad about this. I'm perfectly fine with it! Because that's the way I handle hypocrites, don't expect the best treatment from me. I don't friggin' care.

I don't expect them (or her) to help me, because she'll prolly help me screw things up. It's not that I'm being arrogant or what fuck. I just had bad experiences with her. Some people really get on my nerves. Seriously. And I have to say that these 2 months at AIA have been the longest months in my work term for FujiXerox.

Welcome to the fuckin' real world again. Things really get so frustrating that I become very tired, even though my job doesn't require alot of physical strength. and seriously, I think I've aged.

After this month, I'll just settle for one or two part time jobs to cover my expenses. Hopefully time will pass soon, August will come, and school will start. That's what I'm looking forward to.(:

On the good side of it, family, friends, and bf have been there for me, to listen to my complaints.

And I'm really missing those days in school. Miss the girls!

Ignore the guy, look a my potential biceps. HAHAHA! My biceps, feat. my qing! haha! Biceps come first. LOL! My army guy, with that typical army look.

nnk, me and Mr China zjh. HAHAHA! x)

Classic!

And work's been making me miss out on people like RUTH,

and my dearest jaclyn! NYDB GIRLS!

AND CI!

gosh, work's killing. and depriving me of late nights. SHIAT.

Shall go to bed now.

2009-05-06T23:42:00.002+08:00

Weekend was great last week! Attended cousin's wedding! Will upload some photos soon, of cousin n wife, n cute nephew Noah! (=

LOOKING FORWARD TO FRIDAY AGAIN! haha! (:
and yes, work's boring, as usual. RAHHHH! When will it be full of excitement??

I'll be looking for a part time job in June, maybe you'll see me in NYNY amk hub!?!?!? HAHAHHA! alright, whateverrrr~!

Sleep!

2009-04-26T22:28:00.002+08:00

Just some thoughts I'm having recently.

Why do we study?
So that we get a degree?
So why get a degree?
So that we can get a job which pays well (obviously not in the current economic situation)?
Why work?
So that we have an income?
And... work, I believe that most of us, after growing up, after becoming working adults, the majority of the time in our lives will be urm, WORK!? Doesn't this sound CRAZY!?!

Think studying is tough? Try working.
Think you wanna grow up fast? Think again.

Five days a week, 8 hours a day, gosh. I'm quite sick of this type of life.
Even so, I gotta face it.
And the only good thing about mondays, are that I don't have to face a hypocrite at work.

TGIF, thank god it's friday. This is my favourite line as of now.

And of course,

Be Your Best. HAHA! (:

RIGHT. BACK TO A NEW WEEK, perhaps monday blues again.

Can't wait for baby to be back on the 1st May!! (: (: (:

And of course, I've to think through it very carefully before I start making any decision, perhaps something that would change my life.

gosh. stupid monday blues. URGH.
And I'm sick. well done lor.

2009-04-20T19:05:00.002+08:00

I realised that I haven't been going out to play for a very long time. Like.. having fun, drinking, and not to mention, club. wtf is this man. seriously. and I seriously need to train MORE. Sadly, all this will come only mid or end may. ):

I really miss having fun with the girls, friends, and my long lost friends.

I don't really have time to catch up with everyone. The problem with office hours, is that you only have time at night. And DB is my need, even though I have been coxing for the girls instead of rowing with them. haha! This means that my weekends are more or less occupied, unless I decide not to go for training. haha!

What's more, my qing is in Taiwan now. This makes me feel even more empty, and dull.

Cher's sad life is just all about work, work, work and work. And not fun fun work, fun fun fun colleagues. It's just work, I do my things, I go for lunch, I do my job again, time's up, I go. I don't really interact a lot with my current colleagues now except for Alan, the new support staff over at my site. I just talk to him, talk and talk, and it was really a 'colleague talk'. It wasn't anywhere near the kind of conversation where I'll talk naturally and talk about everything under the sun. It's so different.

And how abt my 2, or rather, 3 other colleagues? Well, I don't really talk to them much, I can't bring myself to trust them enough, to talk to them, since I've already got backstabbed by one, which was rather childish of colleague X, and I've not offended X in any way. haha. But, whatever! Can't really be bothered by such political issues and it won't benefit both of us in any way. X is the one who will get agitated by my bochap-ness. LOL!

All of these, will end really soon. I will be able to get my life back, and perhaps, get a well-paying part time job, catch up with the girls, club with them, drink with them, meet my friends, and my long lost friends. and my QING, is coming back on 1st may! I hope I'll be able to go pick him up or what. Touchdown time : 0240 hours. Go me! haha!

I really miss everything and everyone else!

2009-04-12T23:15:00.002+08:00

I loved the long weekend!! OMG! But it's ending already which sucks. And my work will start again tmr.

How boring.

Routined life. I got to get out of this soon. REALLY SOON! And my bank is always depleting. DAMN. But I think I'll be getting my half-month pay tmr. WHICH OBVIOUSLY WON'T LAST ME LONG. The more I earn, the more I spend. And the best part, I don't know what I spend on.
My wardrobe's still lacking the necessary clothings, etc etc.

So that means that I spend alot on food?!?! and TRANSPORT. wtf.

Tmr I need to be the first to reach and I'm not sleeping yet.

Well Done. ( Ms Sim's favourite phrase. )

Heh!

2009-04-04T01:09:00.001+08:00

I've an interview with smu business school on tues! and i just heard that it's hard to prepare for it! OMG! and it's a group interview! HAHAH! great! what a great experience for my first interview!

PLEASE! anyone who went for smu's interviews for any course, but esp business, PLEASE GIMME SOME TIPS! MUCH APPRECIATED! THANKS!

oh no...

I'm gonna take like, half day off that day, specially for the interview, cos i have to prepare. LOL!

go me! I know i can do it!

2009-04-01T21:28:00.002+08:00

It's killing me! Work is killing me! OMG!
It's a daily routine, it's what I do everyday, without interesting changes.
WHAT A BORE!

And my boss asked me if I wanna extend till the end of JUNE!?
I doubt I will say yes though. Mum advised me not to. I guess I shall then stop working end of May, and look for a part time job to earn allowance, at least part time ain't that tiring or hmm, routined I'd say. At least, I've some off days in a week, not a 5-days working week.

Alright! I shall do just that! hehe!

I'm really deprived and mising out on all the fun, all the wednesday trainings with ny, all the blah blah blah! OMG! No life, TOTALLY! Missing out on self training, running, jogging etc, and catching up with fats. WTH! Thanks.

When I become a TV producer, I shall produce a TV drama on Dragon boat. HAHA! okay this is random, cos of the current table tennis show on channel 8.

I'm trying to figure out why men can be such assholes, especially men who are dirty-minded. Is it because they're just horny, or deprived or what!?!
Witnessed a scene today which made me want to kick that man's balls. There was this man who's in his late forties or early fifties, kept looking at a girl's chest, and this really pissed me off. MEN WHO PREY ON YOUNG GIRLS. So i just told the girl to be careful and alert.

GIRLS, LADIES! Do be alert and take note of your surroundings! STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES, Don't fall prey to these perverts!

Men. Problems.

2009-03-27T21:02:00.003+08:00

Not a happy Friday for me today.
Was transferred over to Harbourfront Merrill Lynch today, instead of being at Deutsche Bank mailroom.

oh well.

and I'm really disappointed as well.
Well, disappointment is usually because of 'high hopes' yea... or rather, hoping will lead to disappointment. I just wish these two days will pass as fast as they can.

It's pointless putting in effort for something or anything, which in the end, will only lead to criticisms and unhappiness. No wonder there's a 'If only I knew this would happen'. Then I won't even care, I won't even do a shit, when in the first place, I didn't agree to anything. It's not that I'm asking for something in return, since I also, didn't get anything in return when I was a leader. It's just that, for so much that we've done, me and other seniors, whatever we've done, all ended up like 'a mess'... for so much we've done, for you, we've received criticisms from, when something screwed up. Blames, finger pointing. Think back and figure out the main cause of all the problems that we're having now. Not that we've much problems. But yes, think back.

Sometimes, giving it 100% doesn't mean that you'll get 100% back. Isn't it?

So much for a NATO huh.
p/s: NATO: no-action-talk-only.

And if I knew it, I wouldn't have signed up for MR, so that I could go for his grad day.

2009-03-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

I HATE BEING SICK BECAUSE I'LL JUST BE DAMN MOODY LIKE HOW I AM NOW AND HOW I WAS AT WORK TODAY.

MY THROAT IS URGHHHH! DARN PAIN...

It'll lead me to becoming 'speechless'...

DAMN IT!

and poor me, i'm still trying to FIND OUT more about uni stuff and courses, HAVEN'T EVEN APPLIED YET.

loser me. darn.

fuck it man. stupid throat.

knn.

2009-03-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

talking about work,
rmb how I used to complain about the early hours that I have to wake up at.
Now, it's gonna be even earlier.

My new workplace(s) is like over at alexandra road(queensway area)/ tampines, alternating between two locations, week by week.

For the money.

See, now I've to wake up even earlier, at around 7am. OH GOSH, the thought of it... It's just so impossible. LOL!

I've decided that I wanna apply for ntu business course. It's gonna be a very competitive, Since I've heard 3 out of 5 people wanting to apply for that. Go me!

ciao.

2009-03-10T00:15:00.003+08:00

I've given my word to Irene that I'm gg back to work. SO... yeap. That's a few days left to my 'holiday', slacking at home, doing whatever I like etc.

Got the results last Friday, and it was way better than what I had expected, having almost inconsistent, or rather consistently bad results in school.

Now, I'm at a loss. I'm not sure what I want to do now.
I just now that I'm not a science person. heh!
So.. science and science-related courses, goodbye!
heh!

Don't know what else I should post about already.
It's kind of boring! Really!

2009-03-06T09:59:00.002+08:00

OMG..

Last night was the longest night for me, ever! I swear!

went out for movie at night, reached home at one plus, thanks to the rain. I went to sleep and two, and bang! I couldn't sleep at all. I think all i had was only like... 3 to 4 hours of sleep? and the rest, turning and tossing around!?

All that i was thinking of, was today, how it was going to be, how it's going to turn out to be etc etc.

and now, I'm freakin' tired already. and my pimple's like.. a painful pimple!?!?!

URGH!

okay.. shall go wash up and get ready to go out soon!

and my dearie...

Avalanche says:
haha
lol
today like this like very exciting hor!
haha
'cherchercher!! nydb myteam.mylove says:
u excited
i nervous
LOL
Avalanche says:
I NERVOUS la
but jsut saying it in a HAPPY way
HAHHAH
'cherchercher!! nydb myteam.mylove says:
HAHA!
YES!
EXCITED!!

See how cute? LOL!

ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE.
AND MYSELF.

2009-03-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

I'm bored.

Stayed at home for the whole day today, and I guess it'll be pretty much the same tmr if caro can't make it.

But it's damn shiok, I slept like a mega log. Woke up very late in the morning, used the computer, watched 881 dvd and went to sleep again in the afternoon, till near dinner time! and I'm gg to sleep again! soon!! hehe!

boyf's gg thr a rather tough time at his gcc.
and his botak again! hehe! gonna snap pictures of him when he's back! X)

shall go sleep now! nites!

2009-03-02T00:19:00.003+08:00

Isn't it fast? It's already March.
A few more days to getting the results. Oh gosh, i don't dare to even think abt it.
To be optimistic, I gave it my best already, so.. don't think so much yeah!

It's monday! and I'm not working! so I shall stay at home and slack! and nua! and prolly do some running in the evening or what! hehe! Great way to spend the day! hehe!

met up with clique to go to the settlers' cafe over at smu. and I kinda liked the environment, those study tables, and the air-conditioned place! damn nice! didn't take much pictures, but it was a good session with them! (:

the next time i see them should be on friday yeah.. oh well.

shall sleep soon and wake up late tmr morning!!! (:

2009-02-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

I don't get why certain people become so full of themselves...

had a really bad neck day today and bad day at work for the first half of the day, was emoing, was moody, was crazy, was pms-y. the second half became better.

I got an aim of what i wanna do after this contract is over.
I've already planned... as to what comes next, and whether things go according to what i planned, I'll leave it to fate. hehe!

shall slack the week away or go train up for one week until i get my results
then results day, after that, maybe celebrate/emo (hope it's the first) but not hopeful. haha!
then after that, check out all the uni stuffs, and open house etc.
blah blah blah, when everything's settled, then i'll go find another temp job.

sounds good?

hehe!

and he came down all the way from his camp to pei me for awhile before he books in again. well, what else can i say, but sweet? (: hah!

right. shall stop here, someone else's pissing me off again. darn

2009-02-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

hang in there cher, and those who're working during office hours!

THE WEEKEND IS NEAR!!

WHEE!

2009-02-16T22:25:00.005+08:00

I've got a new blogskin! like finally! hah! after such a long time of searching, and editing, and making sure that it works and looks good. haha!

it's my last two weeks at work, i'm still wondering if i want to extend, cos of the good pay which is highly unlikely to be offered by other employers during this period of time.

but the thing is, i want to explore the other jobs! at least get more experience in other aspects and not get stuck with the same job for the rest of the 5 months or so. BUT AGAIN, money is more impt? or is it the experience? of course, money is the more realistic choice! ARGH, i'm in a freakin' dilemma right now! ):

13th feb: black friday.

it was a really funny day at work, since people were alr receiving and sending valentine's day gifts. the uncles, my colleagues were really (bitchy) funny too. Like they were saying some people could have sent it to themselves or what. and we received roses on behalf of the recipients, then they were taking pictures of it, wanting to 'send' roses to their wives/friends etc.. and it was damn funny! and cheapskate of them of course. :X

there... this bouquet is totally beautiful! and the uncles (my colleagues) were happily snapping away and sending the best shot to their wives. HEH! super funny!

and he's finally back. glad that he was backon time for vday, at least it wasn't that pathetic ya. heh. work work and work. and after that went over for dinner at his place.

vday was.. packed. it was a rather busy day for me! heh.

went for db orientation in the morning and rowed and rowed and ran 5 km b4 orientation plus 2km or warm up. wow.

and after which was talking to the j2 team because of certain problems and things that the guys didn't want to abide. but i hope that things got cleared up, even though most of them were not listening most of the time, as i could see.

it's disappointing to see batch by batch, things get worse. i know certain people want to achieve something in their db career. It won't work if only that few of the whole lot wants it. it doesn't work that way. and yes, COMPLACENCY KILLS. unless it doesn't matter to the team. alright, whatever it is, i'm just expressing my two cents worth. I just don't want to the the NYDB fire extinguish, or being extinguished. I want it to continue burning. and I'm sure all alumni want the NYDB spirit to continue, to live on. okay let's drop this topic.

yeah, after that went to suntec for the ntu seminar and i saw MANY MANY PEOPLE! like... ANGMOH! omg, didn't meet that girl for a long time, and she's undergone so many changes! like the hair, and the specs and the... ya. that's all. hehe! eyes still as small.. :X hehehehe! (moh, don't kill me if u see this! haha! ) love that girl. heh

super-cherlyn rushed home after that to change and went to meet her boy.

vday wasn't as special, because like.. hmm, everyday with him is as loving and as sweet. it doesn't have to be on vday that people become sweet or what, like that malcolm said. LOL!

yeap. believe it or not, we da bao-ed our dinner and ate at his place. then after that boy gave me surprises! loved them! thanks dear.

and cher is known to dislike flowers, because they're not practical at all, but someone just insisted giving me a small bouquet with 3 lil' roses and lots of idk-what-flowers. haha!

but i was happy after that. it was a very memorable day for us both, even though we didn't spend big bucks to eat at some restaurant, and we spent the rest of the day tgt, and ltr at night with some of the girls. thanks dear.

and it's finalised alr. i'm not extending my temp contract already. because they have excess manpower i think.. haha! but it's okay! i'll look for other jobs, and meanwhile, i shall take a break! i shall sign up with moe for relief teaching, i shall try IT show. I shall do this, and do that. blah blah. i should spend less. damn. haha! money is always not enough.

shall go sleep soon!

2009-02-01T23:35:00.002+08:00

why are things so screwed up!? why!?
fucking angry, fucking pissed.
and i prolly think that i should make it a point that when my mum and her friends are gambling at my place, i should try to stay away from my house.
to avoid any conflicting interests.

it's like.. i'm already sick, and they, these people, still asked for the door to be opened, when there's like strong wind blowing, and yes, my dad still doesn't get the point that i'm sick, and still, opened the door just now. i totally shivered, and went to close the darn door.

and then came from the back ' so hot' right after i said i felt cold. knn!
i suggested them to use the fan, then ' no' wtf!! these dowagers are so darn hard to please.

then they came to ask me why i fall sick easily.
AS IF I FUCKING KNOW?!
AS IF I FUCKING WANT TO FALL SICK!?
darn.

it was all sarcastic.
it was.
thanks to my mum's friends.
i nv liked some of them anw.
and it's still cny.

why is my life so darn screwed up now!

fuckin' hell.

and after my mum said to them ' don't care about her la.'
i fuckin' gave up.
i gave up on everything.

dear called. at least that made my day better, and made me feel better, someone for me to share my feelings with.

then came my mum to ask me to hang up, cos calls from overseas, she said i've to pay too. (can someone please enlighten me on this? i thought only the person who called will pay. )

and then the thought came, the same thought.
like... everything i do is always wrong. always.

ask me what it feels like to be the only child.
i don't feel pampered.
i don't feel like a spoilt brat.
i don't feel the care.
i don't feel anything at all.
i feel like i'm alone in this house.

darn.
turning emo.

why is life always like that?
is it just me?

fuck it man.

2009-01-31T18:45:00.002+08:00

why does it always have to be me?

the good things that i do aren't recognised, my weaknesses are always remembered and always pointed at.

i've got nothing more to say already.it's all inside my heart, i don't know how to express it.
now i finally understand why i always have to be out when my mum's playing that dno what mahjong with her friends. this is something that i have to do because i don't like it, and things will always turn sour when i say something, or express how i feel. things will just turn bad. she'll just bring up everything bad about me.

there's nothing more to say. i've no idea why either.

hais.

2009-01-26T10:46:00.002+08:00

it's the time of the year agn! cny!

the only reason i'm looking forward to cny is because i can finally take a break from work. But why two days only!? argh... and the worse thing is that i've to go back to work on the third day of cny. ahh! even though i know that everyone else is also working on the 3rd day of cny, but argh! damn! ): hais. for money's sake, cherlyn! LOL! if only it was like.. one week or something? hah!

and there's only four days left to him leaving for brunei. and out of four, i'm working one 3 days... and i think i only can meet him for dinner or lunch and that's it, he' flying.

see, the thing about work is that you've got money to earn.but as a full-timer, there are also things that have to be sacrificed. for example, time. weekdays are only left with night time as your free time. this kinda suck. and even though there are weekends, 2 days ain't enough. It's worse than school life. I swear. many of us are like... ' how i wished we're back in school, enjoying that life, bitching and gossiping about things, people, playing and studying together with people you like etc etc. In work, there's no choice. There's no choice of who you want to work with, no choosing of people you like as colleagues, no control over things, they like you, good for you. if they don't, then prepare for backstabbings. it's happening everyday in my workplace. it's that realistic. and my colleagues gossiped about me too. but too bad, i overheard and told them that i heard everything that they said. haha!

right. my contract will end in about another 4 weeks... and guess what? i really can't wait to switch to a part time job, although the cash part will be less, the schedule is more flexible and relaxing. at least it's not a five-day work week, 9 hours per day thing.

and plus, work's boring without friends or people that will joke.
i'm glad over at my side, there are jokes, but too much dirty ones. hais. what to do? working in an all-male environment and me being the only girl there.

plus some people are mega hypocritical, like... if the joke's not funny, why laugh so loud and fake? it was like mega fake laughter, all the time, even at things which aren't... funny at all. he just gets on my nerves and makes me feel like stabbing his bald head with that pen knife.URGH. that's my irritating, annoying, hypocritical, irresponsible, anyhow-pick-on-newbies, work-depends-on-mood, supervisor for you. and if i had to list it all down, it'll be neverending. haha!

alright. enough about work.

just hope that this new year will be a good one.
and it was a pretty good start to it i guess, spending it with him and his fam.

gotta go alr, i'm tired, and my irrannoying uncle is coming. urgh!

Finally 18!

2008-10-28T23:57:00.001+08:00

Yay! It's my 18th bday! Haha! Damn near the a's and can't have mega fun bday celebration, but it's okay! Because my econs consult grp people actually gave me a mega bday suprise! Totally awesome! And kexin knew it all along! Thanks girl, and girls!

And those who sent me bday smses! Thank you! It's much appreciated! Love y'all so much, all the time! Especially those who stayed up to hit 12 to msg me, so that it'll be more meaningful! Especially angmoh, wanpei, etc etc! And! Of course not forgetting those who dozed off, like, kexin! But thanks girl! For that surprise, for the cute 'han suan' thingy! And everyone else! Steph! Haha! Too many to be named!

If not for that surprise, i wouldn't have a cake to cut and 3 wishes to make today, thank you!

It really meant alot to me!

So do all of you out there! Make sure that this exam period you guys take good care of yourselves ya!

Also, to those who've yet to wish me, be GUILTY man! Haha! Alright, just kidding! I'm just trying to say that, you may have not been talking to me for god knows how many centuries, but, i don't mind belated wishes/presents. Haha! Alright!

The 18-yr-old feeling is... AMAZING!

Thanks everyone!

:) if only.

2008-10-08T09:27:00.001+08:00

It suck to know that your teachers are almost giving up on your class, because th class just doesn't do well for the exams.

One may have worked hard for the exams, however, the results may not reflect the student's efforts. And to be looked down upon by others, especially the teachers and/or the principal, it sucks.

Good students, bad students, they're still your students, mr principal. I know you meant well, but you were too harsh on your words. What makes you think that we aren't studying? Aren't there cases where people worked hard, and still, failed to achieve their best?

What i'm saying here may sound silly to some,but even when they don't say it, from what mr principal said this morning, it does, in a way or another, signify that certain teachers, including mr principal, are giving up on this class, but again, it's heartening to know that there is still one teacher holding on to us, not letting us go.

Ms Hazel, thank you for being the one.

2008-07-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

I need no two cents worth from anybody.

people usually only listen to one side of the story and make a biased judgement. I've encountered such situations again and again, and i'm sick of it. It's because of what 'they' always say which make those who listen to them become biased, cos they usually won't get to listen to my side of story, and it's because i don't know them, or i didn't have a chance to do so. Ok.

What's wrong with men's ego? Seriously... Some people actually save their ego at the expense of other's pride, and not thinking whether it's fair to the other person. Again, i'm experiencing the unfair side to it. So, this leads to some people having biased opinions and bad impressions about me. I don't care. But is it fair to me, just based on what one or two people say? I don't care what others think about me, because i like the way i am now, i'm getting on with my life, i'm doing what's priority now.

When you don't know me, you won't like me.

Talk about being friends again, keyword:again. just scram.

This just makes me think thrice about trusting men, again.

I'm leading a great life right now, and i'm not going to let anyone or anything that anyone's said, be a distraction to me. It's such a waste of time. Since it's been so long already, just let it go la! No point talking about it/asking me about it right!

At this point, i have to agree with my mum that one of Man's weaknesses is the ability of letting go of something.

Damn. What a spoiler!

2008-07-24T00:18:00.001+08:00

Amazing! I managed to log in again after a few tries cos i cdn't get the right password.

Nt fixing comp til the end of a's. I think it'll be more of a distraction than help for me. Seriously.

So now i'm using my hp to do this. Cool stuff. So hp is another distraction. Anw, sch work's piling up like siao! It's driving me crazy! And i'm really going crazy, laughing at the least amusing joke etc etc. It's evident! Omg! This is what the A's are turning me into.

Anyhow, i haven't been using blogger for so long cos was using lj instead. It's more... User friendly, for me.

School may suck now, but in 3, 4 months or so, i will have my life back! DB, prolly part time, and play and nth else. Nth concerning e books, e notes. Yay! Look forward, look forward!

Ciao!

2008-04-21T00:04:00.001+08:00

Hey. I know i haven't been blogging for an ice age but now i'm here to blog- using my handphone! Isn't it damn cool! Haha! I'm supposed to be sleeping already but i'm just bored at the moment and had some random thoughts in mind that i thought i should blog about. 12th april is now like 8 days ago already. The race felt like yesterday. I felt damn freaking weird not spending my weekends rowing in kallang, not holding that paddle walking around with the girls, eating lunch, talking to mr hee, etc etc etc. It just doesn't feel like my life at all! And just when i saw np dragonboaters, and some other dragonboaters who were carrying their paddle and the pft, oh my god, i so wanna go back to the past! Things are definitely so different for us now, i'd rather sacrifice my sleep, wake up early and go row that boat with the 19 other girls who are crazily strong and equally 'abnormal', who'd sacrifice their weekends, their movie dates, their boyfriend dates, their family day, to go to kallang early in the morning to run then row together with the team ( ask any other typical girl on the streets whether she's willing to sacrifice, most likely not... )
i really miss rowing with the girls. Must go for one training together again, soon. It won't be called training. The feeling of having something missing in your life really suck. For me, it's not the guy, it's not the sleep, it's not the tv, the movies, not any other things. It's the trainings, the runnings, the rowing with the team, and of course, beloved mr hee! I know why i'm sick now. It's cos i'm not used to not having my regular 'dosage' of rowing, the girls and mr hee.

Missing those days.

2008-02-21T22:28:00.001+08:00

FEBRUARY IS COMING TO AN END SOON!
MARCH IS APPROACHING
MR 500 IS NEARING
6 MORE WEEKS TO A DIVISIONS.

NYDB JIAYOU!
WE CAN DO IT!
COS WE'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES!
ALL THE WAY!

2008-01-30T20:13:00.000+08:00

I want girls who can push themselves, committed, can endure, love team sports, don't have to be passionate from the start (cos the passion will build up.), strong mentality, never-say-die spirit, willing to train hard to achieve more for herself and of course for the team, not fit never mind, cos we'll train till become fit fit.
My ideal juniors should match these conditions. MWAHAHHA!

I was so damn pissed when I heard some j1 slacked during training today.
I was so damn pissed that I kept scolding fuck over the phone when I heard all these.
Fuck la. Kao eh, 1st 3 months my batch, we didn't even fucking dare to slack during training, every training can screw us like siao, we can be so afraid of training that there was pre-training shitting syndrome.
I guess it's really time for us to train our juniors already.
It's time for us to come in.
It's time we have land trainings with the J1s.
Go some other ccas if u wanna slack man.
DB is a competitive sport! URGH!

Judge me if u want to man. I don't give a fuck. I can't be more direct already. Be funny with me, and get it man.

I hate guys who totally don't give a fuck for their friends and choose their girls over their friends.

just fuck off.

'm so sorry, I'm pms-y today.

2007-12-23T14:37:00.001+08:00

fuck. argh! damn pissed with myself.
damn pissed with everything now.
damn.

ok. forget about blogspot.com
i'm leaving this place.
go figure out.
i need to get a life.

go figure out.

2007-12-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

I am Happy!
so rare for me to be happy while blogging haha! (=

2007-12-20T12:24:00.000+08:00

haha! Just saw my profile and realised I haven't updated this profile for a very long time.
sometimes, i just wish that part of horrible memories, maybe some parts sweet, can just be removed from my head. argh! the most most most horrible times. the worst 2 weeks that i've been through. fuck. i never want this to happen again.

went out with sh ystd noon and went shopping. and chris didn't tell us about the change of plans.
CHRIS, if you're reading this,
I CAN'T MAKE IT ON THE 23RD damn it. haha!
right. hehe!

feel like giving someone a few hard and tight slaps so that he will wake up and not play his time away damn it! ARGH! it's another year!!

after sh left, went to meet jan.
my god, after so long, finally met up with him again at bugis! haha! went to walk around and ate YUKEE DUCK RICE!! WHEE OMG OMG OMG! damn nice!! love it! hah! we just kept talking and talking about everything under the sun! and crapped! haha! super funny! heh! looking forward to another outing tgt with kc and wr as well! ahahahhahaha!

less than 2 weeks to school reopening and I, Cherlyn Leng, haven't completed a single homework, so I, promise that I will start by this week! I PROMISE MYSELF! and I will not break my own promise!

hate it. haha!

2007-12-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

Went for Ntu's training ystd.
It was great! haha!
and the team is very focused during training.
every stroke was power.

going down for training again this saturday.
and school's reopening soon, i haven't completed a single piece of homework.
darn it.

and i hate it. i hate it i hate it!
damn la!

Passion and commitment

2007-12-14T01:46:00.000+08:00

Hahaha! XP
tired. and there's work in the noon.
need sleep!

2007-12-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

everyone's rushing for time.
there's just not enough time.
):
bad train experience today. very. people don't say 'excuse me' and just pushed me rah rah rah! super angry!

went to MS today to find eddy mwahahhaa! super miss him like lots, crazy, many many hahaha! super nice and bubbly and cute mngr! haha!

and then rushed down to amk s11 to meet kc and weirong who took super long to come down argh! made me wait for super long before i could eat my dinner rah rah angry angry. then after dinner, we just sat there and continued talking and talking and talking! haha! super long nv meet them already sia. haha!

tired tired tired.
hahaha!

sometimes there's a lot i want to say, but i don't know how to go about saying it. ):

2007-12-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

went gymming in school today. it was crowded like super crowded! argh! haha!
anw, went to lunch with yixin and wanpei after gym cos we didn't want to study. and then we went to catch the tattooist.
and then there were many ads before the movie started. we were looking for our seats and might have spoken a bit too loud. but again, the movie hasn't started. but a malay girl scolded us impolitely, told us to shut up. which wasn't effective cos she wasn't polite at all. alright.
after that, during the movie, a man of around 50 years old, started a quarrel while the movie was going on. he scolded a younger guy who rested his feet on the seat beside him and he could've smell the stench or something. wasn't very clear of the situation, just got very irritated at first. and then it became very amusing!
the old man said a lot of 'Fucks' and 'Fuck You'. so did the young man. and then it got louder. and the vulgarities that they used increased. wanpei wasn't happy, so she shouted shut up. haha!
then after like a minute or so, the old man suggested to have a fight outside. o i forgot to mention. the younger guy already put down his feet when the old man scolded him. He tried to ask the old man to stop quarreling already. but the old man, being a stubborn old man, didn't want to stop. It was until the younger guy said something like 'fight then fight la, go out la.' then that old man said in chinese that the younger guy was inconsiderate and shut up.
wah but that old man wasn't very considerate in the first place that he just kept babbling on and on with all the fucks and stuffs even when the younger guy wanted to make peace.
the whole situation made us miss one of the scary scenes and the whole thing was damn amusing! It was the first time that I witness these kind of things. haha!

and when the movie ended, i turned and stared at him, and LAUGHED! Then, we walked out, and then we were laughing like mad! at the old man! and I looked at that old man, and laughed out loud openly, like, in front of him. LOL! took the same lift as him, and I was beside him, saying that adults like him are not good role models and that only secondary school students would do things like that. haha! took every chance to laugh at him and make him embarrassed. Imagine a group of teenagers laughing at a supposedly-matured-in-thinking 'wise' old man. HAHAHA!

Public Nuisance. damn.
spoiled the whole movie but amused us greatly. haha!

2007-12-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

how bored.
i just made my homework list today. and omg. haha! so much! and haven't started! yay!
I'm lazy to start. i'm really lazy to start.
don't want to study now. bored. )=
argh!
been asked to study out. but lazy! LAZY! argh! and i can't remember a thing. maybe i should really start soon.

Life's been rather boring.
Let's all plan for an outing soon.
chalet on new year's eve.. how's that?
3d2n/2d1n

I need money.
how great it'd be if it rains money one day. all notes. mwahaha!

right, i'm really bored.

2007-12-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

I've been saying i wanna quit my job.
i really want to cos like very tiring. but i've got really great colleagues!
really fun-loving and caring and cool and totally nice to the extreme, i never thought i'd get colleagues like them!
and then, can't bear to leave them. ):
pictures another time, must find slacking time to take pics heh!

there are people who do the floor, the cake counter and the bar and the kitchen.
i will definitely remember tina.

there. she prepared my cake for me that day and wrote my pretty name on the takeaway box.

there, the girl in the center, tina. the indian guy on the left, ah-neh. anw, kinda miss ah-neh. he's the dishwasher and he doesn't talk much, but he's rather good at dishes and quite nice too!
but something drove him away. he went missing. god. they were saying he ran away from work. he doesn't want to do the dishes anymore... and now it's a china guy, omg, i had to rack my brains for a proper chinese sentence to ask him to clear the thrash. damn. ): and i don't like that china guy cos he's got a tattoo on his hand. and it's ugly. alrighty.

and there's rilla, aka lala! super cheerful girl!

there! the one posing for the shot. not very clear again. hehe. great personality!

and there are more lo.

Nadhirah's last day was ystd. talked alot with her during work. and really like her! she's like super nice can! but it was her last day already.

haix. o no getting emo. ok. shall change topic.

cher has short hair right now. yixin and 38 too! haha! went to mystique to cut again. omg. my hair's super short but i like! my god. haha!

took a few pictures..

yixin is photo spoiler. stupid girl. haha!

mystique is team cut-hair place! come here and cut hair! $14 and great service, massage and hairwash baybeh! over at kovan near heartland mall!

gtg le. tmr's working day agn. 12 to 4. )= heh.

2007-12-06T00:25:00.000+08:00

yay! happy people with happy hair!
short short hair but i like mwahaha!
update more later! (= gna sleep! tired bleahs.

2007-12-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

just had a crazy conversation with wanpei weiyi and yixin. omg.
damn funny!
rofl.

i'm bored. )=

one month gone just like that.
my holiday!!!

2007-12-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

yay i'm damn happy!
cos i went to marina square, well i didn't regret going there today even though it's my off day today! COS I SAW EDDY! omg!
miss him alot! work rocks when he's around. much better than any other managers. patrick star~!
heh, cos he looks like patrick! mwaahhaa!

alright! gym tmr tmr tmr! yayayayayayyayay! yayness!

and short hours for next week's work! yayayayyayayayay! double yayness!

feels weird that there's no rowing today.
feels like a monday or any other random weekdays without db.

and. for the coming chalet, not confirmed yet cos i've to check with jas if she still has the promotion! haha!

and if she does, I'll confirm the date again, please be available!
and will be after 16dec, the masters.
(=

love ya'll!

2007-11-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

if only we could turn back time

2007-11-30T19:16:00.000+08:00

db chalet! time flew during chalet man! flewww! ended too fast, could've been longer. heh. another one?? (=

the night was.
thought of the 5 of them again at night.
and then felt like crying but no tears came out.
argh, skip this part.

yeap. bbq was alright. heh. quite nice lah. but hor there wasn't enough food! ahhh!
alright, before michel ordered the food, there was a concern that there could be too much food, then ended up too little. hehe!

mrhee bought us pizzas haha! ain't he great?

the night was great!
went to walk around, to downtown, to mac's to etc etc etc then had to go back by 2am so after that just went back lor. haha!
kay, then played a few rounds of asshole dai dee with the guys then after that gossiped! omg! totally a great session mwahahha! talking about all the weird people in our school etc. hah!

and then and then!
didn't sleep the whole night omg! zai rite! but damn tiring haha!
ok, haha! a chalet is a chalet.

ok, i'm bored already.

one more coming up!

2007-11-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

there's been many bad people around lately.
heart wreckers, heart breakers, suckers, etc etc.
things that happen lately is seriously enough for me to think that love won't last, a relationship is...just a joke. a joke in life that when we get bored in life, we'll have a joke.
seriously. the bitch. the bitch is driving me crazy. by mentioning her, i just feel like going crazy omg! think of her and feel like slapping her. urgh.
come to think of it i still very bu gan yuan, why she should treat my friend this way when he's like super ultra mega nice towards her, spent money on her, give her money to cab to school when she was going to be late. and she was the one who demanded for the money. and when my friend used his money to buy materials for her project. and my friend bought 2 big plushies for her to make her happy, and and and, the fucking list goes on.
so end of it, another guy comes in cos my friend had too little time with her. and that fat ugly guy, that fug, made it clear that he would chase after that bitch.
broke up partly cos of the guy, and also cos the results cannot make it.
wanted to patch up because results got worse and needed someone to care for her (what the fuck right! )

whalao she thinks that my friend is some toy for her to play with, toy with his feelings, make him feel like exploding.
wah laooo ehhh!! argh. what a bitch.
deserve to burn in hell man.
i still choose to believe my friend at the end of the day.

and another one.
this time it's the guy.
after months of serious relationship, or rather just simply toying with her but made it sound like you're fucking serious, you ditch her. you fucking ditched her, after touching her and after playing with her feelings. ditched her for another girl? jerk. asshole. whatever fits you best.

venting frustrations cos rly frustrated now.
and super bitchy yay!
bitch guru mwahahahaha!

2007-11-28T20:27:00.001+08:00

Those who are sick or falling sick please take good care of yourselves!!!
Must recover soon ok ok ok ok ok ok!!

nabei. that guy suck to the earth's core.
he shall burn in hell!!!
BURN IN HELL!
Jerk.
Bastard.
Die of lung cancer man!
knn.

2007-11-28T20:21:00.000+08:00

nabei i suddenly damn pissed off again cos of one guy.
sian.

2007-11-28T20:03:00.000+08:00

YAY I'M the FREE-EST PERSON THIS WEEK! haha! Only working for two days for this week mwahahhaha! this saturday! omg so many off days this week yayness.

blogging is kinda boring. sian!

o ya let's talk about today's training!
It's horrible like to the power of infinity
we ran sheares bridge route.
only 10 turned up.
small boat
enough said

today got new scandal OH! hahaha!
urhahermhermherm! hahaha!
those who came today sure know one.. hahhaha talk of the town! TOTT! hah!

I like to say this:
It's okay to make a mistake.
admit to it and learn from it,
so that you'll never make the same mistake again.

2007-11-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

As we move on, do we forget about those who once played a part in our life and left us with the deepest memories?

Though I may not have seen some of them, talked to them, rowed with them, this tragedy has hit me as well. It's the feeling for a fellow dragon boater. They were in the same sport as I am, we may share the same passion for team sports. prayed for miracle, hoped they'll be safe and sound. miracle didn't happen. But now, they're safe and sound as God reached out to them.

There may be people whom we'd forget.
It won't be the same for them, as they'll be deeply missed by those who love them.

Isn't life unpredictable?

If only, 'If onlys' would help.

As I move on with life, I won't forget those worth remembering, who played a part in my life, and left me with the deepest memories...

2007-11-24T19:48:00.000+08:00

no one had expected it to happen.

if only... it didn't.

2007-11-23T20:20:00.000+08:00

Life sucks now, cos i'm sick. omg.
sucks! i hate being sick, urgh so xin ku!
and the doctor is damn lousy. gimme medicine which doesn't work. haha!
temperature rose till 39.6 this morning, almost went to see yan luo wang. )=
but now abit better, don't know if can go down for training tmr.
anw, gtg rest le.
ciaoooo!

2007-11-21T21:50:00.000+08:00

YOU and YOU who treated my friend 'well enough' shall die!
even know i only saw the guy once,from what i heard from my friend, from what i see, from his looks ( okay, i do judge people ).
and the girl. my god. people who fall for sweet talkers are seriously blind to the power of infinity. and that guy is not, i emphasize again, IS NOT good-looking AT ALL! don't even have what it takes to flirt. my god. the girl, is blind. the guy, is a freaking bastard. let me witness what happens and i'll give you a freaking nice kick in your fatherhood. Piece of SHIT!
what's even the use of mourning over what happened when you ( the girl) didn't even freaking cherish him? give me 10 good reasons man.
eat shit for treating my friend like that.
and i thought you would last.
Is the air pollution that bad that you turned blind and decided to use only your sense of hearing and fall for a FAT, UGLY, sweet talker?
what's even happening to people nowadays?

just feeling very very very bitchy right now.

2007-11-19T00:48:00.000+08:00

It's how fast people change.
my god, if i knew it earlier, i would've fcked that bitch/bastard upside down already. can't stand people who treat others like that la. damn it.
very tired now cos just reached home from work at rendezvous... a fast $6/hour job. haha. really damn fast.
and after so long( to the power of infinity) i finally got to meet up with chris. idiot la, so busy no time to meet up mwahahaha! then when work then meet up. LOL.

hais. nothing to blog about already. so boring.. )= hah. siannns!

2007-11-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

sian. no motivation to go to school tmr. last day le. )= don't think can wake up again anyway. hah.

work was alright. time flew cos it was busy. what's wrong with the customers. almost closing then still come in. in groups of 9s, 10s some more. sia la. siao. really busy like siao. chiong here and there.

and and LOL! i seriously seriously hate people who are stuck up, think that we are some people who they can intimidate. hell man, i'm just a part timer and that woman stared at me with her freaking ginormous eyes, telling me parts of her lamb shanks are too hard and that we put it in the microwave and not made fresh oh bloody hell you think i know what freaking happened in the kitchen huh. ate almost half the lamb shank already then asked to speak to mngr, get a new set. wahlao really damn fucked up. do unto others what you want others to do unto you. fck. could've put rat poison in the food and let you eat, choke, die of rat poison. damn. argh! 15.90 lamb shanks not good enough, want the best then use more money go somewhere else eat la, come kajiao me thi small part timer. hais.

and those freaking stuck-up teenagers. wahlao. met alot of guailan customers today. but got very nice customers too! of course, i offered my best service, showed them my best smile.
sleep le nites.

what's love anyway?
nydb is love.
mwahaha! (=

nydb showed me that i don't need to have a boyfriend to know what love is.
that i have them and it's enough.
and i'm glad to have them. (=

2007-11-15T15:26:00.000+08:00

bahahaha.
nothing to blog about.
just quite bored so i thought i'd blog a boring post.
zzz.
feel like sleeping but got work ltr.
and eddy's leaving MS secret recipe soon. DAMN. why why why!
why must be him. arghhhh. he's like one of the best employers i've met so far la. )':

hais sian. i want money. i want fast money. lalalalalalala!
I'M saying BANQUET. zzz.
CHRIS, GET BACK TO ME SOON MAN! ARGH! zzz.
bleah.

okay, seriously, i'm bored.
i shall go catch a nap. haha!

2007-11-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

argh!
hate ch5 cos there's no project runway tonight. WHY WHY WHY!!! argh. sad )=

went out with kc tdy... and met some people outside today.. LOL!
saw ah leng and 38 at bugis with their friends...

hah! argh random.

zzz!

I'm missing bitching sessions with the girls.
I'm missing them!! booohoohoooohooo!
sentosa team outing someday? yeah? (=

argh... tmr xiaozhu got some event and i can't go cos of work! )= boohoohoo!
sobs sobs sobs! )=
*get over it, get over it! there will be another time! * haha!

alright! goodnite!

2007-11-07T21:00:00.001+08:00

Hello i'm back!! after so so so so so longgg!! haha!
alot of things happened in between. heh. what i can remember most is Singapore River Regatta '07. alright, will get the pics from yixin and others (=

another thing is bitching with the girls.. LOL!
some guy, seriously piss me off, alot alot alot!
Guys can be damn bastard, so freaking bastard that I feel like kicking some ass and ****.
(the above is a sweeping statement)
seriously, i feel like slapping that guy already.
and wow, i can really believe that he's such a liar, with no integrity at all.
Believe in what you see.
stop going around trying to attract attention,
and saying that you're proud with that position, when you tell someone else not to be proud of it.
great. someone has got split personality.
Cool stuff ya?
yayness.
If only removing all jerks is as easy as using correction fluid to erase the errors.
argh damn.

Off to watch the 9pm show! (=

2007-10-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

I just feel damn sucky now.
kinda hot-headed. I just need some peace.
I was telling sh the other day that jc life's interesting cos u get to see all different types of people, nice and friendly people, crazy people, weirdos, high people, hypocrites, backstabbers, liars, slackers, suckers. everything.
yes. and the ones that you wanna be least associated with are the hypocrites.
you'll never know what they'll do behind you, what they'll say behind. they may just smile at you, and behind you, they'll be throwing knives, spears, javelins, acids, choppers, everything that will kill you in front of others, without you knowing.
She may tell u something, then she'll tell someone else another thing.
Life's interesting isn't it?
sometimes, you just wish you could fuck people like this upside down, fuck them till they kneel down in front of you and beg you for mercy. and then you think again, it's not even worth the effort.
a slap will do. for you to vent everything out.
or just three words, right straight into her face, 'I don't like you.'
That's enough.
for the consequences, whether she'll say even more, it's already up to her.
if she can convince someone else that you suck, then she's succeeded in getting someone on her side.
girls politics, always so scary, and irritating.
then again, bitchings spice up people's lives.
sometimes i really feel like shutting her up, kicking her hard in her arse, damn it!

don't you hate it.

I hate it.
hais.

alright! had a great training with team today. the sun was so bright that i could... hardly see.
heh. and one thing i love about dragonboat and i will always love, is the team. girls team, guys team.
girls, let's continue pushing and train hard so that we will achieve what we want for Regatta.
guys, train hard train hard! masters next week! jiayou!

I'm super proud of NYDB baybehhhh! (=
my ultimate love in NYJC!
end of the three days marathon!

you don't wanna give it your best just for the last set of the day.
you don't wanna reserve the energy for celebration after the day.
you don't wanna come in last for a race.
you don't wanna have a bad race set.
you don't wanna disappoint yourselves and the team for not rowing the best.
you don't wanna join the race just to be there and entertain other teams.

that's what i don't want.

Give it your best from the 1st set of the day
Give it all out
Have a good race set
Join races to show other teams what we, nydb, are made of!
Join races to achieve the glory as a team.

cos i know we can do it.
Guys and girls, we can!

We'll only feel good if we push together as a team, have a common goal, and work towards it.
Dragonboat. <3

and at the end of the day, nydb makes my day. (=

2007-10-12T21:53:00.001+08:00

Life's interesting with all the bitchings man.

you should have seen that.
didn't expect that i would have the honour to actually do it.

imagine a rowing career with a deadweight for dno how many months
Now, imagine a rowing career with that deadweight removed
even though the deadweight is rather insignificant.
(alright, still, it's a deadweight. )

HAPPY LUHS!
i loved the way i said the last word to that stick today.
ok, BYE.in the coldest manner, most bo-chap manner.
hahaha.

go earn ur respect from everyone else. if u think u can.
maybe u can try getting into the honour roll first?
so that everyone would be talking about you, saying your name and things like that.

I've nv really treated him as a team mate anyway.

just a dead fish from kallang basin that we picked up by chance
and now we remove it.

HAHAHA!

2007-10-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

we'll go through all these together.

2007-10-12T01:16:00.000+08:00

my pretty sh! <3

meet up again girl! and relinked!

Miss them! and definitely plus char and

angmoh!

the results are fixed.

and we have to face it.

tmr...ARGH!

2007-10-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

hahhaha! hello! i'm here thanks to someone!and myself! smart me,clever me managed to get the internet connection working on another com! mwaaha! took me one hour though. zzz haa!

but won't be here so often already.
nothing much to blog about anyway.
life's great with db! (=

results release tomorrow! ahhhh!
scared.
and chem mcq results out... why do they always have to put it on litespeed. zzz.

whatever whatever! haha

jumped ard when i finally got the connection thing done.
then mummy came to hug me out of joy too.
LOL!
yea, that's my mummy. LOL.
and she got so facinated to crack an egg and realise there are double egg yolks inside!
and she fried it for me. haha!
that's my mom. LOL!

just hope that everyone goes for training tmr with happy faces. (=

darlings, don't be too worried! <3

all the best for tmr! (=

pray pray pray.

2007-09-08T23:55:00.001+08:00

what the fuck. )=

so little time, so much to do.
Untimely for a project. )=
neh neh.

2007-09-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

nabei.
freaking out now!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

just fuck off man.

but, please don't leave me alone for too long.

2007-09-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

This is the toughest phase in your n years of education:
Junior College.

RAH.
I miss post o-level days! working, shopping, having fun, playing! rah rah!

Grant me my wish.
1st DECEMBER 2007

8PM

SHOW ON STAGE

BAYBEHH!

2007-09-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yes, i'm proud of the team. (= glad to be in nydb and with every nydb-ers.. (=

how i wished that i could spend all my time with ci...
it felt great talking with them, eating with them, spending time with them, haha! Helping them to tie French braids.. (=
camwhoring together
and last time:
eating, playing, studying, slacking, shopping, singing, taking neos, watching movies together and the list goes on. etc etc.
everyone changed in a way... in terms of looks etc...
but come to think of it..
how we got together as a group of great friends, it was amazing.
different people with different characters got together so well and hang out almost everyday in the past. no doubt there were a few tiffs here and there... we still remained as one... hah.
the things we went through together, failing exams, quarrels etc.. and how we hated people together, how we bitched about them.. how we shared news ( gossips ) and the lame jokes.
of course, how we shared our problems...
it was great. it's still great, even though we don't have much time. i believe after this two busy years, with only about 1 yr plus left to our jc education, ceteris paribus ( this just came to my mind randomly ), we'll have lots of time and lots of fun together!! (=

part of the clique. (=
enough said.

2007-09-01T21:53:00.001+08:00

CHERLYN LENG HAS ONE BIG THING ON HER WISHLIST NOW!
SHOW ON STAGE! 1ST DEC SATURDAY 8PM. SOMEONE! BUY ME THE TICKETS AND WATCH WITH ME!!

*BIG HINTS! * (=

2007-09-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

This is a general statement:
people who are smart, or those who thinks that they are smart, usually don't give a fuck for others. they are people who are damn selfish. and for that, i'm very pissed!

If u think u shouldn't be here in the first place, and that u don't belong to this school, why didn't u go somewhere else? where the level of intelligence is what you have now... ( i'm being damn kind to praise u ) so that you will STFU and listen during lectures and tutorials and not talk like a bitch during these important lessons and u fucking disturb me, and others too.
i foresee that if any of these happens again and seriously exceeds my level of tolerance, i will start screaming at people like so bitch, just to ask them to shut the fuck up and save the bitchings till the end of the lectures and tutorials.

and it's not only once. sometimes it gets so fucking loud and i feel like turning and give them a few tight slaps. talk at the right time man. say the right things at the right time. and save all the wrong things for yourself cos we don't want to know! damn it.

okay. ha. anger vent le.
sometimes really cannot tahan. tahan till cannot tahan. haiis.

gtg (=
it's because i don't dare to love anymore

2007-08-24T23:45:00.001+08:00

suddenly missing alot of pple now..
jsut some random thoughts, then poof! all of them appeared.. or maybe cos i'm listening to a sad song now? haha!

the girls, the snrs, the babes, ci, the other 8, shekhuay, jan TAN, kwan chiu, ah bao, tingying, KRYSTAL AND HANNAH CHUNG, 4E4 pple, the zhgg clique etc etc.

WHEN AM I GONNA SEE ALL OF U AGAIN!
especially those not in ny...
teachers' day???

wahaaaaa.. missing days in zhonghua now... recalling all the cool things that happened there, all the mischiefs, all the funny funny things! LOL! and all the fights and quarrels... etc etc.. hah! used to be a rather bad student last time.. and a super bitchy person, still is now, but depends on the situation! LOL!

ahahahhaa!

i think it's you.

2007-08-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

if u saw the reason behind what's done
if you look into it
if you think about it
if u were me
you would do the same
wouldn't you.

it's not about self now.
reflect reflect reflect.

results will show
and the time will come
let's wait.
just hope that this won't come too late.

some stupid idiot just pissed me off.
but i will continue smiling
because it's not worth my anger. mwahaha.

there's more to life baybehh!
my pretty babes
handsome hunks
woohOO!

alright. very siao and high today!
wah sian, quite sian that i actually missed the bball match that the guys played...
rah.

bahahaha. i miss yoooooou!
random-ness.

2007-08-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

hellos!
sians.
wednesdays feel weird without trainings.
feels... weird
not seeing mr hee on a wednesday
oh gosh, i'm already missing him.
but well.
must study...
will study hard hard hard!
failed chem test badly.
no good. it's like super discouraging
what to do.. just have to try harder.
nothing to blog about already
life is like a routine.
gdluck to me for tmr's ipull challenge.
hah. damn scared.

2007-08-20T23:39:00.000+08:00

all stressed up today.
how much more of this can i handle?
it's not my life at all man... what.. things like sleeping at 2am?
totally not me.
what's this shit all about.
tell me.

the fear in me. it's like as if it will come true any moment.
the fear of getting retained.
i'm really afraid.
it's worse than the fear of a break up. damn.
the worst fear now.

today's the official start of our break.
from trainings.
it feels so empty.
everything cuts.
this emptiness in me.
omg.
1 mth plus of break from training.

damn,
i don't care... i must manage my time well so that can squeeze in time to gym and run!!
rahh!

this feeling of emptiness
it feels weird
not doing things that we always do

I'll study hard!!
ARGH!

and people, sleeping at 2 isn't a wise choice at all
sleep early!!

fuck the stress.

X JAPAN does kill my stress ((((:
love love love love love!

2007-08-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

Great job to the guys who took part in the Masters!

and the girls!! hahaa! great experience! wooHOO!

and...

X JAPAN ROCKS.
their songs are like filled with a lot of emotions, especially those sad ones... watching The Last Live videos on youtube made me cry like siao... watched them sing. damn nice. omg.. how i wish they didn't disband, even though they're quite old but still, they rock. love love love!

damn.. and i can't imagine it's my last time rowing before promos. damn. i can't imagine not rowing for 1 month plus... and not seeing mr hee for one month plus.. will suffer like siao, frm missing mr hee... )= nvm, for him, the team, and myself, i'll study hard!!! rah!

bye bye.

2007-08-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

another week's gonna pass again. hah.
had geog test today. was alright. hopefully can pass.
sad thing is i fail chem le. confirm.. )=
anyway..
haha!
MASTERS THIS SUNDAY!
GUYS JIAYOU!
i'm sure with everyone having the same goal in heart,
you'll achieve it!
never think that it's impossible
nothing is impossible!!
(=
jiayou!

after a period of time, i realize i'm fine ehs.. hah! still fighting on! haha! there's more to life. really. (: heh! It's to enjoy life, using every moment to learn something, to be happy about something. i mean, everyone would rather live happily than emoing over things mah.. at least being happy ain't a waste of time, while emoing is... hah! ok.. i don't really know what i'm talking about already. hehe!

time to go...
muscle aches.. boohoos!

2007-08-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

3 hours of sleep last night and i survived till now.
good enough.
chem was screwed up. totally.
and... to last throughout lessons, and training, with just 3 hours of sleep...
i think that's like... omg... so 'zai'
and now i think i ain't gonna do anything already...
gg to sleep! nites!

2007-08-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

'm taking a short break from chem.
i've had a ultra strong dosage of chem today. chem chem chem. damn chem.
ok... i must love chem... ( i dun really like the teachers though... 'cept for a few of them who teaches really well, like ms tan... )
what's happening to me man... i used to love chem! i used to love my chem teacher! yes, i still love her, but she's not in zhonghua anymore... damn the zhp. ( alright, in my opinion, everything in that sch still sucks... maybe it's cos of the same ol' reason. )
i'm studying harder for my term test tmr... as compared to how i've studied for o levels. i'm studying harder! omg... how i missed those o lvl days, ( actually not really ) when we sit tgt in the cafe, studying, and then taking breaks and playing, gossiping and bitching ard.. haha!
and now, study means study, really study, cannot afford to waste time.
that's life in jc.
hard core studying.
in jc it's like
don't study and die
don't study and go to U ( here, it doesn't mean university, it means categorized under ungraded! )
don't do tutorials ( yes, the most your tutor just niam abit ), and you'll scare the shit out of yourself saying ' die die die, i nv do, cannot catch up, i don't understand a shit that he's saying '
and u can't tell your tutor to repeat the whole tutorial, or rather, re-teach. that's how realistic it is. everyone moves on tgt, if u lag behind, u have to catch up yourself...
make-up lessons... and get 6 working days per week. (nabei )
come again, it's all for your own good.
for our own good.
Lectures, sometimes, the lecturers talk so fast that out of 10 words he/she says, u only can catch 2... LOL! sometimes, they talk like they are talking to themselves and not the whole lecture group.
MOST OF THE TIMES, those lecturers sound so damn monotonous and like as if they've hidden sleeping powder in their mouths, the moment they talk, u feel like sleeping, even though their voices aren't so melodious.
again, you can't blame them for that.. can't possibly ask them go change their voices right.

there's much more to jc life.
but there's more better stuffs to expect in jc life!! it sucks in jc, but it's all the great stuffs that make u stay in jc... that's the case for me. hah. (=

off to chem again.
ciao.
stressed out.

2007-08-13T20:23:00.001+08:00

i almost died last night.. and that's almost good news for some of you out there huh?
but i didn't die though... so that's a sad news ? LOL.
alright... it's really killing me like some serious shit... the pain came back again when i was having a nice dinner with papa and mama. stupid luh. )=

that aside...
HAPPY 17TH TO IVY AND WEIYI!!
yes, their bday falls on the same day! hah! by the end of this month,check out my blog how many birthday wishes i have... and that's what i mean.. SO MANY AUGUST BABIES! omg... burn my pocket... LOL!
and yes, did i mention it's ivy and weiyi's bday? they ambushed me like i was the bday girl instead! wahaha... cake all over my face and hair... and back, and everywhere, inner thigh.. etc etc.. i only could rmb when i got back ( from my escape earlier on ), i knew it.. i knew it! then wanpei grabbed onto me and didn't let me go.. oh gosh... then i was like ' SHIT! ' rah rah... i only remember hands coming all over my face, like giving me some mud mask thingy... ( cos it was a chocolate cake ) and cream therapy... cream stinks. yuck.

heh... but it was a nice bday bash... and yes, i agree our batch is more hiong than senior batch... the moment one person kena, the rest confirm kena... LOL! i should have escaped back home earlier.. LOL! bahahha.

cleaning up was like.. oh my.. super disgusting.. and i was trying super hard to cover myself with deodorant... but it failed. rah. went home after that... then the moment i board the bus, i isolated myself... at the back of the bus.. LOL! i could smell myself luh! once again, cream stinks!

alright.. so much for today's episode! i shall go mug hard now!

ciao`

it didn't hurt as much as i expected but when i saw you, i could feel that you're still disappointed with me and i'm still not forgiven... now, that's what's hurting.

2007-08-12T21:18:00.001+08:00

cut out my gastric... cut it out cut it out!!
argh. the pain is killing me like shit.. seriously!!
rah.

nv hurt so much in the past before )=
hate gastric flu.

2007-08-12T01:08:00.000+08:00

There just ain't an article which is long enough to be my eom ah..
damn it.
!@$%*(^%&%$@#$@#$&*^(^

to hell with pw man! rah!

2007-08-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

mwehehe.. i finally met up with darling!! LIKE FINALLY!!

had training today, then after trg i wasn't really feeling very well.. was running a slight fever on the way home, and yea, it's like... hoohoohoo...
not very very sad... but just sad that it has to end this way... not forgiven still. but well.. it'd be tough if it continues. really really tough. but i'm just sad that it really has to end in a bad way, and because of a quarrel. damn sian. but well... there's more to life! (= yea yea, and i'm quite optimistic... at least i won't go cut myself and blah blah blah!! (= and yea, there's hei hei!! (=
and nydb, and clsmates, and friends, and darlings, and baybehh... who says it ends here? heh! (=

and took a nap today, and woke up, still had a slight fever... but alright after eating panadol le...
went for steamboat...
then now i'm back!

tmr's study day for me...
most likely going back to school. who wants to follow? mwahaha

perhaps it wasn't worth it at all...

2007-08-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

why does it have to happen...
shouldn't have sparked it off...
never wanted things to end up like that.
but i feel like i'm being manipulated
even the way i talk has to be changed
a tinge of sarcasm hurts a great deal
maybe i never experienced that before
stereotyped.
things going against me these days
always in the wrong
never forgiven
being straightforward is my strength
and my biggest weakness.

i don't expect a good ending
but now, it doesn't hurt a great deal
I'm numb to my feelings already.
my heart doesn't feel much pain.

bah.
freedom.
if it's really what we want.

2007-08-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

Ain't too late to wish everyone and Singapore a
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!

didn't go to Marina Bay to watch the fireworks, didn't go out with buddies, didn't stay at home to watch ndp, didn't stay at home to mug either. heh. went out!!
first to bugis, then to chinatown, then harbourfront. LOL!
It was a great day!!
felt kinda happy today luhs. hah. at least i didn't stay at home to rot. mwahaha.
spent alot, today, ystd, and gonna spend more on sat. o man. someone just drop me money please.

and I'm still thinking of Secret's scenes. super nice. and the story! omg. and the cast! O... damn. i guess i gna watch it again. hah!

and whenever i'm sad, hei hei's there for me.
my beloved hei hei.
from Inez!
hei hei's the name... given by her~ (=
thanks gal.
thanks hei hei.
for making me happy!!
LOVE!

the thought of meeting buddies this sat just excites me! omg... my darling!!! REALLY MISS HER!! omg! alright... but i'm just afraid that it'd be weird.. cos there are other people whom i don't really know, who are going for the celebration. uh-oh... haha! but nvm.. as long as darling's there... i'll go man!

不能说的秘密
冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变你走过的世界
你用你的指尖阻止我说再见
想象你在身边在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

LOVE!

2007-08-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

nabei. been so long and it's still there.
the block nose. stupid. rah rah.
haha! and i was late today. the first time being late during school term and wasn't booked. LOL. and asst ct rep forgot to take the attendance book.. so i'm nt late... even when i am. LOL!
anw.. the concert tdy felt like a chinese new year concert. i really enjoyed performances by Javin and Nat... yes, u didn't see wrongly. it's the pss2 'green bean'! (= was totally crazy and in love with him! Dansez-Lez, the mcs and the pugi... the wushu part.

anw... met up with ci tdy at amk hub after training. gosh! it's been so long luh! OMG! ahha! and watched Jay Chou's Secret with them. goodness. it's great, it's amazing, it's touching, it's sad, it's nice! damn.. the scenes in the movie are still in my mind! still can think about it! omg... and it's so touching that i cried. It's like... the pain that one would experience having to lose somebody suddenly... and it's damn touching to see how much one can sacrifice for his loved ones... my god. it's nice, it's worth the money. it's already worth it since jay chou's the leading actor... go catch it!! LOVE!

went pizza-hutting after that..once in a while. hah!

and finally... we all met up because it's BONEY DAY!
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY GRACE!!

how i missed those days with them...

damn tired liao..
gdnite! (=

2007-08-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

how does it feel like to lose everything that you once had?

August tests are coming... really soon.
chem's the first test.
oh gosh... can someone just enlighten me...
these days it's always been maths, econs, maths, econs and nothing else.
don't say chem.
and chem test consists of energetics, kinetics and equilibria.
God be with me.
and Maths test... functions and differentiation.
God, please really be with me.
Geog test's next week, Rock cycle and Weathering (i think)
I need You.

and i can't afford to fail the coming tests.
no i don't want to be suspended.
It's bloody scary
It's damn scary
to think of how much effort you've put into training, and studying, trying so hard to juggle the time and trying hard to catch up with the homework, which seems never-ending and always coming.
and because of a test, you have to be suspended from training.
no, never, NO!
i don't want.the thought of it scares me...
I've never felt so threatened before.
ALRIGHT!

I WILL WORK HARD
AND PASS THE TESTS!!

damn.
dropping lots of hair lately... falling sick.
hais.
f it.

milubing's shi ying is nice! (=

and you're the only one who can make me smile foolishly while looking at my phone.

if you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling..

BYE

2007-07-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

Life's never fair... it has never been fair.
People just tend to judge you, and comment about you, without even thinking how you feel.
No matter how much effort you put in, it isn't recognized.
Even though it's just a teeny weeny little bit of effort, it's still your effort, but still, it's insignificant.
People do what's beneficial to themselves and don't give a damn about others.
He thinks he's always right
He thinks he's doing it the right way
He thinks we have to be very fast to keep up
He just sticks to the time line like a super glue
finishing up everything on time
It's good
and BAD
tell me, just what's the point of going through tutorials at such a fast pace when we can't even catch up.
Everytime, this teacher just gives me a feeling that he only wants to achieve his own aims, he wants to benefit, he wants to be the number one teacher etc etc. get a life man. alright, I'm judging, but what's worse than hearing sarcastic comments like ' why should i even prepare the answers for you? I also want to enjoy my weekends.. ' how bloody nice.
damn.
DAMN.
Don't even speak a word when you don't even know what we're going through, what we are doing.
Being students MAY be less stressful than a teacher but like HELLO! how on earth do you actually know we enjoy our weekends, walking along the busy streets in Orchard Road? Please SUBSTANTIATE your statements!
The moment i heard this teacher saying this, i got super pissed off. Damn luh!
Saturday had training in the morning, then went to eat, after that we went home, slept for awhile and then chiong tutorials.
Sunday, another training. After training, pw. then after that, off t study with him. Went home after dinner, slept. Morning woke up at 4 plus 5 am, chiong tutorials again.
YOU CALL THAT ENJOYING HUH!
RIGHT...
and the others confirm chiong tutorials too.
and what's worse than asking this teacher to go through the answer of a question that many of us had doubts of, just getting his reply ' you all never read your lecture notes, this is the basic, i won't go through.' thanks a lot for that. because i think we should be independent already. or maybe, consult other teachers, who are more willing, who are more experienced.
this teacher always spoil our day. always successful.
It becomes very tiring and suffocating, attending his tutorial classes.
It's just like chasing after a train
Honestly, i get so tired, so stressed and when that happens during this teacher's lesson, I'll just shut myself off and then continue doing my questions, consulting kex or others when in doubt.
Besides, which teacher in jc actually scolds vulgarities during lessons, in front of his class. i could've complained to the principal.

what's worse than having a teacher like this.
oh, and i don't bitch for no reasons.
damn.
we got so affected that it also affected our econs tut.
one of our favourite teachers. (=
If only we had more committed teachers like her to motivate and teach us.
Ms Hazel. (=

2007-07-28T20:01:00.001+08:00

a decision can change everything.
made one yesterday, and yea, things changed, people changed
there's no point holding on to a kite with it's line slowly ripping
i tried to mend it, but the wind just got stronger
then i got defeated by it.
I'm finally putting it aside, letting it go [we said it'd be temporary] so that i can cope better and be more committed in studies and db.
I guess I have to try to adapt to my current life and get used to it
till we're ready again, to tie the kite to a new line.
till we're both more committed
till we're both more willing to commit
it comes to my mind occasionally, but I guess, I'm not very affected by it.
not that i won't get affected, but it's just how i handle it i guess.
We're both stubborn.
Not that i expected him to treat me like before
but well, just learn to take things easier

i just hope things won't continue like that.

and for those who are unsure of what choices to make now, well, i think you guys shouldn't give up now, at this moment, at this point of time. let's just put in more effort and prove to the teachers what we can actually do, let's all work hard together and do well! don't let what happened affect us at our trainings k.
gf, if u do read this, don't be so emo k! I'll always be here for you, so will the team! (=
for everyone else, no one has ever given up on you people, so don't let yourself and the team down by giving up on yourself first k! negative comments may hurt, but let it become a motivation for you to do better! After all, it's studies first and db second yea! i believe all of us can do it! (=

tests coming! everyone mug hard and study hard together!! go go! jiayou!
don't want trainings to be canceled, so must study hard!

k, off to study already~ (=
i must reach my target! wooHOO!

2007-07-27T22:56:00.001+08:00

FUCK IT

FUCK IT!

2007-07-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

oh my.
I'm tired. very tired.
thought through
thinking through, over and over again.
have i made up my mind?
i don't know.

wah, i really hate being so damn emo can. wth. it's like i don't want it also lor. zzz. still affecting me.
nvm, tmr long d run in the morning, i shall run it all out.

and oh, YAH!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FERLYN! (:

2007-07-24T21:37:00.000+08:00

梦飞船-不值得

除了想你除了爱你, hu ~我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情, hu ~我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过, 你在敷衍我一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心, 无力继续
这感情不值得我犹豫, 不值得我考虑不值得我爱过你,
这种回忆不值得我提起 , 不值得想起不值得哭泣
这段感情早就应该放弃, 早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你, 不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心, 放弃爱你
除了想你除了爱你, hu ~我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记打开心情, hu ~我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过, 你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心, 无力继续
这感情不值得我犹豫, 不值得我考虑不值得我爱过你
这种回忆不值得我提起, 不值得想起不值得哭泣
这段感情早就应该放弃, 早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你, 不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心, 不为你而放弃爱情不为你而毁了心我决定不为你而毁了心

2007-07-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

things just have to happen this way.
ah whatever.

oh man, and my hair's falling. strand by strand. i just brushed my head and poof, 4 strands of hair dropped. oh man! have i got some disease or smth!!? or am i too stressed?

having headache, but i just hate to take panadols.

econs quiz tmr yet i'm so unprepared.
long d run in the morning, yet i'm still awake.
slept for so long ystd and yet, i still need to stay up late tonight.
homework piling and yet i'm not doing them.
what am i doing? what on earth am i thinking?

today was great! i was in a very good mood. you can ask wenlin. hehe.
training wasn't good at all. got a stupid BF.
damn, we really must heck care what boat we're using man. damn.
who cares it's a champion boat, a light boat or a BF or a BBF or a SBF!?
damn, it's still a dragonboat, and we're still dragonboaters.
after that went t suntec for dinner.
nv touching creamy chicken ever,
till i feel like it.

at night, not very good again. maybe i shall sleep early at night.
so that things won't happen.
i really don't know what to do luh.
seriously.
that in me
half-numb

results talk at 8 tmr
i think i'll prolly fall asleep
no i won't.
my results suck
i've yet to tell mummy about it
perhaps i should make it sound nicer by saying i failed 2 subjects out of 6.
no, that ain't good at all.
and no, i'm not looking forward to the damn meet-the-parents thingy.
fck it.
i can't even imagine mummy talking to him.
damn
damn
damn
the worst nightmare is mummy telling him abt me, dragonboating.
etc
the most jialat thing that will happen is he will psycho mummy into asking me, forcing me to quit db.
i will never.
over my dead body man
seriously.
and he might even tell mummy abt my attitude in class.
oh and he said that i've quietened down in class.
so what?
man, so what if i'm abit soft-spoken.
damn.
i speak at the right time
and anyway, i don't speak well, so i won't even know if i offend people cos i'm very direct.
i don't know why,
but i'm not motivated by him
whatever motivational talks he's given during ct periods or lessons.
i'll just remember him for his insensitivity, the harsh way he talks.
i'm only motivated to do well because i don't want to let mummy down
and myself.

damn.
i need some sleep.
like seriously.

2007-07-21T21:28:00.000+08:00

tell me I'm not numb, to the feelings.
deep in me, whenever people ask, my heart would be crying.
but how much do i actually show
I'm touched that many around me are concerned
It's still in me, dammit.

ah, nvm.
now i can feel my shoulder aching more than what's felt inside.
my shoulders really aching, and it's not the day after gym that i felt it... it's like, from ytd.
wth... abit laggy. but now really damn pain. )=

and anw, today's a great day!
other than building sandcastles.
building sandcastles was fun! and it was my first time! wooHOO! damn cool!
but i just don't like the long walking journey from ecp to the nearest bus stop we can take a bus home from. booHOOhOO.
saw mich and bert at amk hub, mwahaha. talked for awhile and then went back home le.

and when i was walking back, just when i was about to reach my block, i see this group of jing shan pri students walking. big group! hah. going for the NE show. and then i saw MR SWARNA!
OMG! i got so excited!! (= then we walked and talked, so i walked with him to the mrt and talked... damn happy luh! haha! and then he told me there's some jsps alumni dragonboat. mwahaha.. and he asked me t join! heh. and he asked me, if we're free, then can meet up or smth!! wooHOO!. it's really been a long time since we talked! really v glad t meet him!

that really made my day. (=

slept for 4hours and 15 minutes just now... from 430 till 845. zai right! to compensate the amount of sleep i've lost tdy, waking up at 6am in the morning. LOL! really damn tired lo! and i still feel like sleeping MORE! haha!

there's rowing tmr! woots! (=

already at the back of my mind

2007-07-19T21:56:00.000+08:00

it's more than what i can handle.
the emotional thing in me.
someone tell me what i should do
whether what i'm thinking and feeling right now is right.
whether i should be direct or indirect
whether i should continue doing what i'm doing
or just stop doing what i'm doing.
someone enlighten me please
I've never felt so suffocated before
I've never felt so lost before
I've never thought so much before

Is it a reason...
or an excuse?
or it's just u?

i feel terrible.
but thanks
to youtian, yiling, ferlyn, sam, shixuan, kex and mich
for listening
for making my day

(=

this sucks. i just wanna let it all out.
i wanna cry it all out, but there's no tears.
none, at all.
hardened.
numb.

tired.

2007-07-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Tired.

hais...
xin ku.

HAPPY 0718 DAY~!
WHEEE~~

2007-07-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

i feel like getting myself another piercing! haha!! the third one on my right. should i should i ?? haha!

okay. i'm gonna sleep early today.. my shoulder hurts. o man. i hate it luh. shoulder hurts= cannot do anything.. )':

and today's seriously my black monday.
felt so pms-y in school.
so high, then so low. LOL!
AND MATHS LESSON WAS DAMN COOL!
laughing away~~~ then i wanted to stop liao, then dotdot started laughing, then i bth, i started laughing again! o man! what a funny moment! and then me and kex just couldn't stop laughing. we laughed all the way from level 5 to level 4 clsrm, from maths to econs tut. siao already. LOL! but honestly, it's funny!!! LOL.
o man. haha! so afterall, we still do have the telepathy.
mwahaha!
econs was.. alright. i hope i seriously HOPE THAT I PASS MY ECONS!
got 12/25 for case study... that ain't very bad right?? o man, hope i can pass my essay, then pass overall!
everytime when i'm down, you're there for me. thanks!! (:

HOHO!

2007-07-15T14:40:00.000+08:00

you'll never know how i feel.

i'm screwed up. with my studies. oh my. my maths tutorials are pathetic. seriously. i'm screwed. i don't have a good tutor either. i'm screwed.

what i'm thinking now is like... i just wanna train myself up to be stronger. i wanna defeat myself. go beyond my limits. overcome those barriers.

no more logsheets, more running, more chinnies, i will do it. my girls can and will do it!

commitments. many many. but i'm willing to leave time for my commitments.

will he?

i don't know. i still don't know how i should be feeling right now. i'm doing things the intellectual way. i'm following my mind. what it's telling me. i'm going through a tough phase. i feel very tired, i feel very sick, i feel very screwed up. at times i really wanna give up, give up and nothing comes to my mind but to give up. but again, my mind tells me to give more time. how much longer can i hold on. i don't know. maybe soon...

fuckit.

a teenager like me should spend time happily instead of getting all fucked up with things like that.

maybe it's just part and parcel of life.

i just hope things turn out fine.